Smile.

If I boiled down everything in my life, it would probably fit into 1,728 cubic inches of space. This small box would have little odd things in it, such as pictures of my rather large family, Khalid Hussein books, a rosary, ear phones, my watch, Ghazals ,coffee mug and some diaries, among other things. These peculiar objects represent the little pieces of me, and compose who I am.
But just who am I? I have battled with this question for years, and I admit I’m still finding the answer. But so far I have discovered that I am old, a victim of acne, and nearly legally deaf and dumb. I am insecure psycho, a worrier who cares a little too much about how everything. I am someone who wishes to follow her heart, yet can’t seem to decipher what it wants.
And yet I know I want so much more out of life.
Every day, I smile.I smile in greeting to good friends, when I view my favorite shows, or when I witness something spectacular. I smile when I hear a good joke, or when my day is going by just perfectly. I have the kind of smile that reflects my joy in the things around me and that leaves me open to be hurt.
Although smiling is a simple action, it is a highly influential one. I share my smiles as openly as I can to reach out to others across short distances, to connect in even that small way. I consider smiles to be bridges between people. I flash one every day in hopes that I can receive one in return, and build friendships. Since I haven't yet discovered who I am on my own, perhaps a few friends could help me on the quest. And by connecting with one, two, or hundreds of individuals, maybe then I will discover just how great life can be.

Smile.
And yet I know I want so much more out of life.
:)

Call

She realized that her cell-phone was ringing. Before she could press the receive-button, the call got disconnected. She checked if the number was saved on her cell. Yeah, it was. It was a missed call from none other than ‘B’ himself! He called finally! He is back!!

As she waited for his call so that she could pick up this time, her mind drifted back in time. B had been everything to her and this was so not a very long time back. She adored him as a person, loved him as a friend, respected him for his principles and deep within her she also had a liking for him. She was not sure if it was love or anything, but then she couldn’t deny the possibiliy too. She didn’t know what love was after all!

Things were going on fine. They met regularly and they often watched movies. They used to have fun in the beach followed by coffee in restaurants. And then suddenly, one day B had to go out of town. He never gave a reason. She tried to know where he was going to and what for, but he just didn’t tell. And he left.

It had been almost an year now. She had no clue where he was, how he was. He never replied to any e-mails, his cell was always unreachable and the permanent phone no: or address was unavailable. She had almost given up on him. Yes, she had almost forgotten him, when suddenly today she saw his missed call.

The cell was ringing again. It was him. She pressed the ‘receive-button’. And as soon as she pressed it, there was a blast. A pretty powerful blast which should have shaken structures even five miles away! She was blown to pieces. The entire office space was reduced to steel and concrete skeleton and the building had collpased and was kissing the earth.

Yes, he was back for sure.

For the first time.

Hum ek baar jeetay hain, ek hi baar marte hain, ek hi baar shadi karte hain, aur pyaar, pyaar bhi ek hi baar karte hain.

Rahul told his mother, who looked back at him , eyes half filled with tears.
I was in 9th std, when I saw it for the first time Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, and I think, it was after watching Rahul, Anjali and Tina's eternal love story for the third time that I started to think about this particular dialogue. I didn't really agree with Shahrukh Khan there.The point being , I don't think if you lose one love, you van never fall in love again. :)

I used to watch a lot of movies and when I say a lot, I mean a lot. I learn a lot from them too. (This, also, I must have learned from some movies). Well, many people laugh at times for watching so many movies and reading hell lot of novels.

Anyway, before we go ahead, I must tell you few things about myself. I am a quarter century old , and I think I have already been in Love for around 6-7 times. However, I don't have a single idea what it is.
And like most of the 24 year olds, I crib my life sucks.
My brain sucks.I can listen to music 18 hours of 24 hours. These days, I am in kanpur where everything is so peaceful and calm and serene and slow that nothing bloody moves at all.
Moreover, people know how to swear ( baat baat pe kasam se ) and use words like teri maa ki aur teri bahan ki @#%#$%^#$ and all ! like the air they breathe!

Uuuhh!

Sorry :(

must not lose my temper.

Let me start with my first love story out of 100s :)
Year: 1989
I still remember that day I was named . I had turned 2 - old enough to be put in school, everything had been settled , teachers, etc-

I was named as Priyanka.
At that time, I was fascinated with this name. I really loved it. Anyway, that is that day I was named: PRIYANKA and so, there I was fully aware of the fact that I was the cutest kid on earth, marching to my new school with my parents.Completely unaware of the fact who I was gonna meet there- the first love of my Life - Ketan. :)

I remember him very clearly. The memory of his face still doesn't fail to bring a smile on my face. His face was...it was.so perfect...and....round..that, it looked.....just...exactly like a ..nice round, white, tempting Roti.

I don't really remember exactly how we first met but I do recall that I really wanted to marry him, and that he was my 'best friend' and that we used to have loads and loads and loads of fun together!

I don't remember what we used to do together but we used to sit together in the class and the teacher used to love to see us together, saying:
"So lovely! you two look together" 
We talked a lot.I could not imagine life without him, school without him, anything in this world without him.I was crazy about him.
Man, really, I was! :)
He was the only person, I would think about, all day. I crossed all the limits in his love and one of the worst things I did - developed a habit of writing his name with mine and unaware about everything around me, deeply engrossed in his thoughts, picturing us together, I would tilt my head to one side very fondly and write his name with mine, everywhere. And then, I once made one of the biggest mistakes ever, till date-scribbled his name with mine, on my Papa's account book!
Well, I wont tell you much about the consequences, but lets just say that I almost died that day.

And was reborn.
With time, we grew closer. Today, I remember nothing about him.

I knew quite a bit about marriage and stuff as my Tauji's daughter had got married like three months before I was put to school and I also knew that if you gonna seven times round a fire with a girl/boy wearing wedding clothes, God will you a baby as well :D

"Where is your house?", I said.

"Its behind the petrol pump". He said.

"OK". I said.

And after that day, whenever my dad would come back after work, I would ask him every single day.
Papa, gaadi mein petrol dalwane chalein?

At times, Dad would say we have enough petrol. At which, I would get very upset and depressed and say that I wanted to go to the petrol pump.Sometimes, he would take me for a ride to the petrol pump to fill petrol and I keep looking out for Ketan's home, all the time.

Sounds funny?

After, few days, I thought, he might be staying in a house, which was behind some other petrol pump.

But, sadly the search ended with no success.Time passed and the year came to an end. It was time to part- time to leave the prep school. I didn't know what was going to happen.
Without his company I felt life had come to an end. Only toys and ice cream would make me happy. I was sure that I was gonna turn into a Devdas when I grew up. I had seen the movie, it was in black and white. The guy was very good looking and he was not able to be together with his love and started drinking a lot, developed a cough, which the doctors called TV and died in the end.

I had already developed a cough. Yes, I did.

But you know what?

Life goes on.

The cough was cured within a week or so and my parents had already decided the school they were going to put me into next. All this while I was just praying to God for one thing- "Oh God, please let Ketan be in the same school that I am gonna be into".

PS: When I think about my first love story today, I think, that is where it ends and hence I felt weird today.

Disclaimer: The characters in this post are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Happy reading! :)