Failed in exams? Parents don't love you anymore? The one you love is fcuking someone else? You hate yourself? People don't read your blog? People read your blog but don't leave comments? Your job sucks? Your boss is a doof and your co-workers are back-stabbing loosers? The whole world is out to get you?
Chill.
We have just the thing you need, fates have guided you to the right blog post, because what you need is a Suicide.
Yes.
Kill Yourself! but (How?) you ask. The world is full of un-imaginative idiots who have made suicide look like something bad and idiotic, it’s time you took control of your life and the way it should end.It's time,you took suicide to a higher level. No stupid cutting, jumping, ropes, guns or poisons involved, this is suicide like you have never heard before. This is what imagination does to you.
Let's not delay the inevitable and move on to the three top slow and steady my ways to cash in your chips, go west to meet the maker! (why slow and steady you ask? Because that makes sure you win the race ;))
Here we go:
1) Fall in love-- Love, as they say, is the slowest form of suicide. Once in it, you are going to die. The road to happily never after is littered with evil intentions and broken hearts, you walk a mile in a three legged race of love and the road forks. Sweet. Either you succeed and have a "happy ending" (Ending is the keyword here) or you fail and die bit by bit inside. Very interesting and novel way to die, of course half the world is doing it without even realizing it. That is what makes this fun.
2) Chase a dream-- Dreams are nothing but remains of a bad night's sleep. If you go chasing dreams on mountains of hope, your dreams will turn around and bite you in the face. Then they will jump off the mountain and start flying, while your face will be headed on a super-fast Hello to Mr. Ground of Reality. That can break a man or a woman, from inside and when you die there, no glue or doctor can join you back again. Chasing dreams is a risky method and a complex one, slow and simple, but sure.
and as a bonus method,
3) Read MY BLOG everyday-- Congrats, you are already on your way to the pearly gates pits of hell. Word by word these sentences will crawl in your brain through your eyes and push your brain through your ears till there is no more space left in your head for anything but this fukced up blog. A slow, and a very painful death.
That's all for now. I guess.
-=-=-=-
Suicide is a self expression. Hope this helps.
;)
We have just the thing you need, fates have guided you to the right blog post, because what you need is a Suicide.
Yes.
Kill Yourself! but (How?) you ask. The world is full of un-imaginative idiots who have made suicide look like something bad and idiotic, it’s time you took control of your life and the way it should end.It's time,you took suicide to a higher level. No stupid cutting, jumping, ropes, guns or poisons involved, this is suicide like you have never heard before. This is what imagination does to you.
Let's not delay the inevitable and move on to the three top slow and steady my ways to cash in your chips, go west to meet the maker! (why slow and steady you ask? Because that makes sure you win the race ;))
Here we go:
1) Fall in love-- Love, as they say, is the slowest form of suicide. Once in it, you are going to die. The road to happily never after is littered with evil intentions and broken hearts, you walk a mile in a three legged race of love and the road forks. Sweet. Either you succeed and have a "happy ending" (Ending is the keyword here) or you fail and die bit by bit inside. Very interesting and novel way to die, of course half the world is doing it without even realizing it. That is what makes this fun.
2) Chase a dream-- Dreams are nothing but remains of a bad night's sleep. If you go chasing dreams on mountains of hope, your dreams will turn around and bite you in the face. Then they will jump off the mountain and start flying, while your face will be headed on a super-fast Hello to Mr. Ground of Reality. That can break a man or a woman, from inside and when you die there, no glue or doctor can join you back again. Chasing dreams is a risky method and a complex one, slow and simple, but sure.
and as a bonus method,
3) Read
That's all for now. I guess.
-=-=-=-
Suicide is a self expression. Hope this helps.
;)
Loved d starting n end of post .. keep posting .. n d readers will die reading it ..:P
ReplyDelete@pdzarkar Thanks! All I want is to kill all the readers ! :P
ReplyDelete@Priynka: Lovely view abt suicide.... i think one must read it before committing suicide.... may their mind change to opt one of the creative way :D
ReplyDeletecool..
Since I am doing/have done almost all the things you've listed (still working on the time machine, two frogs disappeared last week ;-)), I guess I'm on the right path.
ReplyDeleteJust hoped you'd throw in the names of some prescription drugs too to OD on.
But then, nevermind, I think I already know them.
P.S.- haven't had them yet, but I think having kids would also be a pretty slow, purposeful and happy way to die.
@ Cynic Agreed with your purposeful way to die ! :D
ReplyDelete