Wats up?

"What's up?" she mused, over the phone.
"Yeah...nothing much," I replied, casually. The question has become redundant now-a-days. 'How are you' has now been dethroned by 'Wassup' as the official greeting line. Too bad if you're on the internet, chatting.
"ssup?"
"nm"
"k.."
"n wt else?"
"nm..u say.."
Chat-o-freaks, I tell you. They've got nothing to say and they claim they're chatting. And while the chat-o-lingo takes over our lives, I fear an official molestation of the English language. 'Nothing much' has been replaced by 'nm' for which we should make that NM college of Management Studies as Nothing Much College of Management Studies. Let's see how the admissions go.
A deadly and gorgeous female from our class has mutilated the lingo even further. She's replaces 'Wassup' or 'ssup' with 'sp'.
Ha! Sardar Patel just moved in his grave. Wassup Jain College of Management Studies. Even better admission prospects I should say.

But even more irksome is the fact, that even though there might not be anything up in your life, you're persistently asked 'Wassup' at every other corner. Dodging and steering through Gtalk chat windows is not an onerous task, but can become one, thanks to the 'Wassup culture'. Completely annoyed by its ramifications, one day, I decided to give a piece of my mind to a chat-friend of mine.
"Hey..wasup?" the text bounced on my screen, out of the blue. I decided not the reply.
"BUZZ!" he went as the room rang shrill with the Gtalk buzzer. I'd had enough. This guy was indeed desperate to know what was up in my life. I began.
"Hey..howdy man? nothing much yaar...woke up in the morning..went for a pee, brushed my teeth only to realize it was Dad's shaving cream that I was brushing with. Then, had breakfast comprising of owl-meat and hairy legs, topped it up with milk. Wanted to watch TV, but mom was hooked on to it. So logged on to Facebook on the internet. It was cool, you know, you should catch it sometime..."

We're distant friends now. And why not? The next time one of us ever asked, 'wassup', we flung ourselves at a distance from each other, I tell you.

Thanks for reading this.